Rev. Bonnie Tarwater — Spiritual Director & Pastoral Counselor

Spiritual Direction

A Spiritual Director is a soul companion—someone who prays for you and with you, offering time, attention, and conversation in a safe, holy relationship that honors your connection with God.

This sacred companionship may include attention to your:

  • Prayer life

  • Dream life

  • Human relationships

  • Connection with the natural world

  • Sexuality and health

  • Creative work

Spiritual Direction is not therapy, though Rev. Bonnie honors the deep interconnections between the spiritual and psychological life of the soul. Like therapy, sessions may be individual (one-on-one) or held in small groups at regular intervals.

Rev. Bonnie has studied many religious traditions and honors all wisdom traditions. She is most familiar with Christian practices of spiritual formation.

  • Session Length: Usually 1.5 hours

  • Frequency: Once a month (more often if desired)

  • Fee: Sliding scale; suggested fee $100 per session

Pastoral Counseling

Pastoral Counseling integrates religion and psychology. Since psychology emerged just over a century ago, it has often stood in tension with religion, though religion has been part of human life for millennia.

Rev. Bonnie recognizes both the gifts and limitations of psychology: its power to diagnose and heal, but also the harm done when disciplines are artificially separated. She believes we are called to integrate the whole person—psychological, spiritual, and relational—within the wider web of life.

Her pastoral counseling embraces:

  • Social justice and community engagement

  • Spiritual direction

  • Psychology and creative arts

  • Guided meditations and rituals

  • Gender and LGBTQ+ issues

  • Dreams and prayer

  • Scripture study and “God talk”

Rev. Bonnie has worked with individuals and families for nearly 20 years in church and community settings. She has extensive experience in:

  • Death, dying, grief, and pain management (physical & spiritual)

  • Child development and adolescent counseling

  • Retirement and life transitions

  • Career counseling

  • Domestic violence and PTSD

  • Addictions and recovery

She specializes in relationships as spiritual practice and is an excellent resource in helping families connect with supportive community services in San Diego and beyond.

  • Fee: Sliding scale; suggested fee $100 per hour

Group Therapy & Programs

Rev. Bonnie currently co-leads a Weekly Group Therapy Session with her husband, Dr. Walter Rutherford:

  • Time: Thursdays, 5:30–7:00 p.m.

  • Cost: $200 per month

Together, Bonnie and Walt also provide pre-marital counseling and co-facilitate groups. Both are certified leaders in OWL (Our Whole Lives), a faith-based sexuality program for teenagers.

Rituals & Ceremonies

Rev. Bonnie is experienced in creating meaningful rituals and ceremonies, both traditional and non-traditional, including:

  • Interfaith weddings (with three pre-marital sessions)

  • Memorials and celebrations of life

  • Healing rituals (including recovery from sexual abuse)

  • Coming-of-age ceremonies for adolescents

  • Day of the Dead services

  • Personalized rituals of healing, beauty, and meaning

As both an artist and minister, she works collaboratively to design rituals that reflect each individual or family’s unique story.